Here is today’s Two Hundred Word Tuesday question:
What writing projects are you working on now?
Hello to All My Friends
As hinted at in my Tweet and Group posts, this blog post is to give all of you a little bit of information about changes coming soon that will impact both my online presence and the time I can spend actually doing what I love.
In a word, Writing.
Many of you know that I have a sort of “Family Business” that for the last decade or so I’ve been deeply involved with. While I’m very proud of the company and the things we’ve been able to do to help “Artists” (writers, graphic artists, musicians, and more), my commitment to building the business has cut into my time in a major way. Over the years, as the business became more and more successful, I have made several changes in an effort to garner more “free time” for my family and passions, but these efforts have only been of moderate success. The time has come to make a more effective change.
To this end, effective on 12 MAR 2021 at the close of business, I will be stepping almost totally away from the company.
The long-time COO (I’ll just call her Pauline) will assume the duties of CEO/President of the company. My daughter Amanda will take over the reigns as the COO. The only position I will retain is Chair of the Board of Directors. In short, my time spent running the company will go from about 60 hours a week down to around 4 hours a month.
The rest of my time will be spent doing, as I said above, what I love…
At this time, I have some 40-odd works in progress, and some are quite old with as many as 10 years having passed since I even looked at them. In other words, get ready for a flurry of new novels in the near future.
Should be fun!
Additionally, I’ll be able to spend more time online to not only promote my own works, but to help you promote your works as well. This does not mean, however, that I won’t be going head-to-head with a few of you to sell some books! See above.
I’d like to close this posting with a few things aimed at Pauline and Amanda…
I have absolute and total faith in their abilities and skills. I know they will succeed. No question about that. Now all you have to do is be better than I am at delegation. Get people in place who can help you with your mission.
Thanks to all.
As an author, I’m asked many times about my favorite Christmas memories. The questions come from readers, publishers, reviewers, and many others. Those memories tend to wind up being edited down to a paragraph. Maybe two. You can’t really do justice to a memory in that space.
Growing up in the Missouri Ozarks, we often had a white Christmas. Yes, just like the song. The Bing Crosby version. Or The Moody Blues. A wonderfully beautiful time, but mixed now with a little of the bittersweet.
At the time, I didn’t understand that my parents scrimped and saved for a long time to make Christmas happen. Looking back, they spent a lot of money we didn’t have on Christmas, and I’m not talking about just on gifts.
My dad’s birthday was December 18th. Just a week before Christmas, his birthday present was always a Christmas tree.
We lived in a house that had high ceilings. Really high. About fourteen feet. Such a house today would have the ceiling lowered somehow, if for no other reason than to save on heating costs. And wallpaper costs. But our house had the ceilings clear to their full height. Added to this was a good deal of dark woodwork. I later learned that most of the houses of the period from when ours was built had mahogany woodwork. The carving was intricate with lots of roping and circular features.
Our home was the second floor of the building. The stairs were a straight shot from the front door, but at the top of the steps, there was a ninety-degree turn into the hallway that led to living room at the front of the house, and the kitchen toward the rear. My room was off the living room.
Between the living room and my room was a huge door. It reached nearly to the ceiling and was about eight feet wide. Made of the same dark wood, it had carved panels inset on its surface, and it slid on rollers to disappear into the wall. Oh, that’s called a pocket door. I usually kept it closed.
At least on nights other than dad’s birthday…on that night, the show was too good to miss by closing the door.
The annual floor-show we called tree shopping always started the same way. Dad would swear that we would get a small tree this year. I never figured out his definition of a small tree.
We would pile in the 1967 Dodge van and head out to the tree lots. This was one of the old vans, not like today’s minivans filled with soccer players and their moms. A big thing, based on a big truck, the van had two seats up front and the engine sat back a little, between the seats. In fact, there was room to pass from one seat to the other by walking between the dash and the engine box. The box lifted up so you could check the oil from the driver’s seat.
The back of the van had no seats. Just a huge open area, a lot like a metallic football field. Since there were no seats, we didn’t need seat belts. No one wore them back then anyway.
We went to the same lot every year. It was called simply “Ron’s”. I assume the greasy old man who drooled when he stared at mom was Ron. Anyway, dad said Ron had the best trees at the best prices. I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t very old, I had never been to any other tree lot, and the prices must have been secret since the trees all had little colored tags on them. I guess Ron had the code to break the cipher someplace.
In late December in Missouri, it gets dark about four in the afternoon. Dad didn’t get home until about four-thirty or so. By the time we ate and hit the streets, it was full dark. We usually took several hours in the dark, using flashlights and the several bonfires Ron kept burning, to pick out a tree.
This was no small task nor was it one to be taken lightly. While dad stood shivering in the cold wind, mom made him hold the tree upright. She then stared at the tree with a practiced eye, making dad turn it this way and that. Most of the time, she would shake her head and mumble something about a flat or bare spot. Dad would go back to the racks of trees for another.
Did I make it clear these are real trees I’m talking about? Many people seem to think that Christmas trees come from the garden center at the local WalMart. You know…the ornaments are where the fertilizer was stacked in August. No, these trees didn’t come in a box.
Just a short time ago, these trees were living, growing things. They were snatched from the forest by force and brought by truck to Ron, and others like him, for sale to folks like us. Sort of an evergreen slave trade.
Ron had racks built from 2×4 lumber that held the trees. To a kid like me, there seemed to be a million trees there. Maybe there were a few hundred, but the smell still lingers in my head. The pine scent was almost overpowering. Ever open a new bottle of pine cleaner and take a really deep whiff? That’s not even close. At times, when standing close to one of the racks, it could actually get unpleasant.
Ron had several types of trees. I remember spruce, Scotch pine, blue spruce, and a few others. Dad liked the Scotch pines, and that’s where the efforts focused.
Often, mom’s thumbs down for a tree came because it was too small. Now, dad wasn’t a big man, only about five and half feet tall. But unless the tree was at least a foot over his head, he knew better than to waste mom’s time. She wouldn’t even speak then. She just gave dad “The Look”.
You know the one. All mothers know how to use The Look. Yes, you mothers out there reading this know what I’m talking about. It’s the expression that, when aimed at the man of the house, says without words, “Are you out of your mind?” The same look, when aimed at the children, says, “That’s very sweet and cute, but if you don’t stop now, I’m going to slap your face off.”
No matter who The Look was aimed at, it worked.
Dad knew better, but he always tried to sneak a tree shorter than himself into the game. I think it’s like a pitcher in baseball trying to doctor the ball. Sometimes, you get by with it. Most times, you get caught. When you did get caught, you usually paid a little fine, maybe sat out a game or two, and then all was forgiven. I wonder how many games dad sat out over the years.
The lot was pretty slow this particular year, and Ron was helping dad pick out trees for evaluation. After looking at several dozen, all rejected because they were too small, Ron told dad he could give him a good deal on a larger tree since only a few remained and it was only a week until Christmas.
With mom’s smiling approval, we followed Ron to the high rent district.
The trees towered over my seven-year-old head like redwoods. Reaching so high in the air, the tops were lost in darkness because the light of the bonfires just couldn’t reach that far. Dad frowned and turned his flashlight to the sky, but the light faded before it found the tip of the trees.
While Ron still had several trees here in the Beverly Hills part of the lot, only one fit the bill; a Scotch pine, the only one there. The trunk near the base was too big around for Dad to grip fully with both hands. Some of the lower branches were bigger than a few trees we looked at earlier. Processed and cut into lumber, the tree could have built at least two homes.
Dad and Ron wrestled the monster from the rack and balanced it precariously on the ground. The tree swayed in the wind, causing the men to struggle to keep it upright.
Mom, taking pity on them, walked around the tree instead of making them turn it for her.
Her smile said it all. This was the one.
After a few minutes of negotiation, dad and Ron settled on the price. The tree was soon tied with bailing twine and ready for loading.
With the mighty pine tree resting on the ground, the problem became obvious. The tree was about twice the length of the old Dodge van. There was no way it would fit inside unless the windshield was broken out. Maybe not even then.
Dad decided to tie the tree to the top of the van.
Ever see the Oscar Meyer Weiner-Mobile? The van looked a lot like that when Dad and Ron finished. Well, other than the moldy green hot dog drooped down toward the street at the ends.
And away we went, driving through the dark streets with a dwarf redwood on the roof.
Those old vans were top-heavy when they left the factory. Dad nearly flipped ours over several times on turns long before this night. With who-knows how many tons of evergreen tied to the highest point of the vehicle, it became very top-heavy.
It took about thirty minutes to get to the tree lot. It took more than an hour to get home. When added to the time at the lot, we finally arrived back home at about nine at night.
And the fun had only just begun.
I’m an only child. No big brothers to help. Mom was less than five feet tall and weighed perhaps ninety pounds. Soaking wet. With her clothes on. I was not quite seven.
What I’m trying to say here is that dad was on his own.
He managed to wrestle the baby sequoia from the van and get it on the ground. He had the idea of putting the tree on a big canvas tarpaulin so he could drag it instead of carrying it. It seemed like a good idea to me.
He began pulling. The tree did well, sliding along the ground and up the five steps to the door. It fit through the door, barely, and dad backed up the main stairs, pulling and sweating and saying bad things about the tree’s parents not being married.
I remember mom and I standing at the foot of the stairs watching dad. His face looked like traffic signal stuck on stop. In the rain. He was really sweating. I recall not understanding why, because it was maybe twenty degrees outside.
He was a little past halfway up the steps when the top of the tree went through the door. Dad gave a mighty pull, and the tree lurched up the steps nearly a foot. Dad sat down hard on the steps. The jolt made him lose his grip on the tarp.
The tree came sliding down the steps, top first, like a runaway train on a mountain. The bottom of the tree bounced on the steps as it descended, and I imagined the sound to be like restless cannibal pygmies deciding whose house to meet at for dinner.
I watched all this from my position on the steps leading from the sidewalk to the door. Directly in front of the door. Right in the path of the humongous tree.
Dad always called me ‘Mel’. Mom gave him The Look every time he did. She never failed to call me ‘Melodee’. I hate it when people call me ‘Mel’. Only three people can get by with it, and I like it. Dad was one. Hey? What little girl wouldn’t like her Daddy to have a special name just for her? A close business associate is another. She holds the purse strings, so she can call me anything she likes. The third is someone very special to me. But I digress.
Mom said only one word. “Mel!”
Remember the scene in the movie Vacation when Clark falls asleep at the wheel and leaves the freeway? Remember when the man walking his dog snatches the pooch back by the leash, thus saving it from being crushed by the Griswold Family Truckster? Mom did the same thing to me, only using my arm instead of a leash.
And I reacted the same way as the dog. I yelped. Loudly.
The tree shot past mom and I at a high rate of speed. I guess being tied tightly to the trunk, the branches offered less wind resistance. The canvas slide probably helped. When the bottom of the tree exited the door to the house, it was moving much faster than I could walk. Probably faster than I could run.
The inertia, a function of the mass of the tree (large) and the velocity of the tree (also large) carried the tree all the way back to the van. It stopped when the first four or so feet of the treetop was under the van.
Dad stumbled down the steps. He stood next to mom and I, his breathing a ragged pant, with his hands on his hips. I think he used up all the good words already, because he didn’t say a thing. He just glared at the tree.
Finally, dad’s breathing returned to normal, or at least as much as a fifty-five-year-old obese smoker can breathe normally, and he smiled down at me where I still stood holding mom’s hand. “You OK, Mel?”
He got The Look from mom.
I smiled. “Yeah, Daddy.”
He messed my hair and went after the tree.
The second assault on Mount Aaron went pretty good. At least dad made it to the top of the stairs with the tree in tow. It was here that a major problem was encountered.
Remember that ninety-degree turn?
How do you get a monster conifer around not one, but two such turns?
I was wrong…Dad hadn’t used up all the good words. At least not yet. Even today, I don’t understand what they mean when people say someone is ‘turning the air blue’. Mom said dad was doing that, but I didn’t see it.
Dad was a machinist. More accurately, he was a precision machinist. All machinists work with tolerances measured in thousandths of an inch. Dad dealt with dimensional clearances on the order of a few ten-thousandths of an inch or less.
The tree had far less clearance than that to get around the corner and out of the stairs.
I’m not sure if the cussing or his skills as a machinist helped more, but dad managed to get the tree from the stairway into the hall. It was a relatively simple task to get it into the living room.
It was after ten by then.
After some careful measuring and a couple of tests, dad finally cut several feet from both ends of the coniferous monster and was ready to attach the base and stand the tree up.
The trunk was far too big to fit into the stand.
Again, the air didn’t turn blue, but I came to understand that the supply of good words is all but infinite.
I had a cat. His name was Jessie, and he was just your common feline mongrel. When you have a cat, you also have a litter box. A litter box implies cat litter. But cat litter is expensive. Instead, dad would get a fifty-pound bag of something called Speedy Dry from where he worked as we needed it. It looks, feels, and smells, at least before the cat gets to it, just like clay cat litter. We had a new bag.
Being ingenious, dad got a five-gallon bucket, put the base of the tree in there, and filled the bucket with Speedy Dry. Adding water made the mixture like cement. It also weighed more than mom and I put together. That’s a good thing, because the huge dwarf redwood needed the weight to hold it upright.
When dad finally stood the tree up, it was about quarter past eleven. The treetop ornament, a hideous yellow and purple thing my grandma gave us, was less than an inch from the fourteen-foot ceiling.
Dad cut the rope holding the branches and the tree unfolded majestically, nearly filling the entire room with long green needles reaching in every direction. The already strong scent of pine intensified in the air, and sent us all the same message…
Christmas was actually coming.
Mom brought in the boxes of ornaments and lights. As mom picked out the ornaments she wanted on the tree, dad played with the strings of lights, making sure they all worked and the cords and plugs were in good shape.
I sat down on the couch and watched my parents.
The last thing I remember is the old mantle clock above the gas fireplace chiming midnight, signally the end of my dad’s fifty-fifth birthday. But his night had only just started. By the time I woke up in the morning, still on the couch, the tree was trimmed.
Dad died in 1987, but even now, I get my Christmas tree on December the 18th.
Happy birthday, Daddy.
Today’s Two Hundred Word Tuesday question is:
What one thing triggers writer’s block in you the fastest?
Never Back Down From An Editor…Someone Else Will Buy The Book
The best way I can sum this up for you is to say that the author (aka YOU) knows best what makes the story work. No one else—most especially an editor—can do a better job than the author (aka YOU) at making the story and characters strong.
Now, with that said, let’s look at the details…
First of all, I am NOT talking about things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation. If you are using a modern word processor and haven’t done stupid things like adding “special” words to the dictionary or crazy things like adding or editing the grammar rules, your software should catch nearly all of these issues. Maybe…
For example, in the dictionary of nearly all decent word processors, you will find the words “for” and “fro”. How often in a typical book is the word “for” used? At least several hundred times in most cases. On the other hand, the word “fro” is rarely used. Actually, I can’t remember a single time I have ever used it, but I don’t do a lot of historical work. The fact is, however, that the spell checker will not catch the error of typing “fro” when you mean “for”. Even though “for” is a preposition and “fro” is an adverb, most grammar checkers will miss the error, too. There are two ways to fix this…after you write your story, do a search for “fro” and make sure you really meant to use that word. A better solution is to go to the dictionary and remove the word “fro”…now, “fro” will be flagged as a spelling error.
But I digress…
What I am really talking about here is story content…no decent (or better) editor will try to change your story. Sadly, there are an awful lot of bad editors in the business. I can promise you that at some point in your career an editor will come to you and ask you to change your story, usually with some statement like, “…this will work better for the reader…”
In a word, bullshit.
Typically, if you’re fairly new to the business or to the publisher, your refusal to make the suggested changes will be met with a reply like, “…well, I’m not sure we can publish the book the way it is…”
Fine. Just reply, “Good deal. I can sell it for more to someone else, then. Have a wonderful day. Bitch.”
If your book is worth the electrons storing it, the publisher will come back and say, “Sorry…here’s a new editor since you and Jane Doe have some kind of personality conflict. It won’t happen again.” If not, shop it around some more.
If you know something is right, stand your ground. Do not give in just to get the book published. If you have an agent, get them involved right away. The sooner the better because they can often avoid the power struggle that may ensue.
If you have an actual representative, this situation will never come up because the editors know better than to play these kinds of games…this leads to the representative pulling perhaps tens of millions of dollars worth of books and giving them to someone else.
Let me give you one small example from my works…
Anyone who has read my works—or even my blogs—knows that I write “OK” as opposed to “okay”. I once had an editor who hated this, and she insisted that I change all of my “OK” to “okay”. I started off pointing out to her that “OK” or “ok” is preferred over “okay” in more than a dozen dictionaries. She still wanted it changed and started doing a search-and-replace on the manuscript. I simply changed them all back to “OK” and sent it back to her.
At this point, the dingbat actually told me that she couldn’t publish the book with “OK”. I just sent the email to my representative. My rep pulled more than 200 books from the publisher that encompassed nearly 100 authors. The explanation to the publisher was that their editorial staff was a pain in the ass and not worth the effort.
The same day, the publisher came back and told my rep that all was fixed, I had a new editor, the old editor was now flipping burgers someplace, and please come back with your books. My rep then demanded an extra 2% on the royalty for all of the books to cover the angst factor, and the publisher was happy that was all it cost them.
A happy ending for everyone…well, except the idiot editor. I hear that she might make over-night shift manager soon.
When should you take such a hard line? That’s easy…
Whenever the editor wants something “fixed” that changes the story or impacts your voice, this is the time when you should not back down.
It is your story and voice that sell. These things set you apart from the myriad of other authors, and to compromise these matters is to literally sell your soul.
Today is, in case you missed it, Giving Tuesday. In short, today is the day that pretty much every charity is going to make a push to get donations.
While most all charities need support all the time, this is especially important in these times. Many people are being negatively impacted by the pandemic. Many businesses—and that means employers—are running at reduced capacity. A lot of others are just plain closed, too many times forever. A great deal of what most of us call “entertainment” is gone for who knows how long.
All of this leads to increased need for the things that many charities provide…essential things like food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and a seemingly endless list of other services are all seeing a spike in need.
Many companies are donating huge amounts of goods, services, and money to charities. Some of these companies are lucky enough to have seen a smaller impact that others, and their income remains strong. Others are in bad shape but see the need and are doing what they can.
In a similar way, many individuals are helping the charities. Again, some people are lucky and can afford to give more while others may be in need themselves, but find a way to pay the help forward.
No matter what category you’re in, it’s easy to get frustrated and throw up your hands asking what can you possibly do to make a difference. That’s normal and, to some degree, expected. Let me just tell you a little about me and my company…
My company is one of the lucky ones. We have always, since day one, been highly decentralized and distributed. Pretty much everyone in the operation works remotely and always has. This means we didn’t have to make many adjustments for social distancing: It was already in place. Yes, there are times that we would like to travel to have some face-to-face meetings and the like, but when we looked carefully at things, it wasn’t absolutely needed. While we have been impacted by the general slow-down in music and film/TV production, we have seen an increase in art and written entertainment. Loosely speaking, the decrease in some areas has been offset by increases in others.
As for me personally, there has been effectively no change in my income. Chalk it up to diversification if you like.
Both me and my company have always given to various charities, but recent events have made two changes to our giving patterns…
First, we find we are giving more in terms of absolute total dollars. For me, this is a no-brainer: The need is greater, so the support must be greater. Here near the end of calendar year 2020, our charitable donations are up just over 300% compared to this time in 2019.
Second, we used to focus mostly on “neglected” charities. By neglected, I mean those that traditionally receive less support than others. By means of example, zoos, botanical gardens, and schools (across the entire range) tend to get fewer donations than, say, the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and food banks. We have started to donate to the more traditional charities while, at the same time, increasing donations to our old friends in the neglected classes.
Another big change in the company is that the managers in each division have been empowered to make donations up to a generous limit without the need to get approval from higher-ups in the company. Remember…we are very decentralized. It is very possible (if not likely) that a manger in a certain area will see a need for a more or less local charity. This lets them make a donation to that charity without wasting time in the bureaucracy getting approval.
Another thing the company is doing is to sell an entire division of the corporation. This is an area that, honestly, I’m not sure how we ended up in, but it is far from our core business and really doesn’t fit our model too well. Yes, it makes money, but none of us can see a downside to getting rid of it. Another company is likely more suited to run this kind of operation than we are. And we have already committed to funneling the lion’s share of the proceeds from the sale to charity.
One thing that has not changed is that both the company and myself make all donations in strict anonymity. We don’t make donations to get free PR. We don’t give support to impress others. We do these things to give back to the community—or world if you prefer—that has been good to us. We want to help as much and when we can.
So this brings me back to what YOU can do to help others.
I guess the real answer is that I have no idea. I don’t know your situation. For all I know, you could be wallowing in cash, taking bathes in champagne, and lighting your hookah with $100 bills. You could also be living in a cardboard box under an overpass and dumpster-diving for your next meal. Odds are, however, you’re someplace between the two extremes.
Can you afford to write a $1,000 check to your local food bank so they can feed a few people?
Maybe you can pledge $10 to the Wounded Warriors Project?
How about taking the change you just got from Walmart and dropping that in the Salvation Army kettle out front?
Or you could even go down to the local animal shelter and volunteer to spend some time with the dogs and cats waiting for their Forever Family to adopt them?
My friends, it doesn’t matter WHAT you do or HOW MUCH you give. What does matter is that you DO give.
Who can say what the repayment for your caring and kindness might be?
Perhaps the food bank will feed a child who grows up to be a doctor who, in the future, saves your life when you come into the ER with a heart attack.
Maybe a depressed suicidal veteran helped by the Wounded Warriors will go on to be the teacher who inspires your child to become the first human on Mars.
It’s possible that the Salvation Army helps a drug-addicted young woman pull herself up and become a leader in business.
And maybe, just maybe, that cat you give ten minutes of comfort to before he is to be euthanized gets just enough time for his Forever Family to come in and fall in love, taking him home from your arms and away from the needle.
Help in any way you can.
Here is today’s Two Hundred Word Tuesday question:
What writing projects are you working on now?
The last Two Hundred Word Tuesday question for September is:
Is there a theme or idea you’d love to work with but haven’t been able to yet?
This is a short excerpt from Casting Call for Love available on my Free Reads page. WARNING: Adult language is used.
Roland swallowed. “Cut.” He remembered the microphone in his lap. He brought it to his lips. “Cut!”
Jim looked down from the camera. He took a deep breath. “You want a print?”
“I have no fucking idea.”
Valerie caught the towel someone tossed her and wiped the stage blood from her face. She offered her hand to Harry and he stood up beside her. The cast and crew applauded as she and Harry took a bow.
Roland swallowed again. “Someone get them some goddamn robes.”
A stage hand gave her a robe as she walked toward him. She wiped a little more of the dripping blood from her hair as she smiled. “Well?”
He couldn’t see her clearly through the red fog filling his vision. “What the fuck was that bit?”
He waved wildly at the set. “You…you…” He closed his eyes. He couldn’t even think straight, let alone talk. “That bit!”
She laughed. “Improvisation. He forgot his lines, and we needed to get the scene moving.”
“Does the word ‘cut’ mean anything to you? How about ‘take two’?”
She frowned again. “Would you calm down?”
Jack and Ralph ran up to her. Jack gushed again. “My, God! That was great! RW, this is the way the scene should have been written!”
“You two get the fuck away from me. Now.”
They both frowned, but had enough sense to leave.
He sat fuming. At first, she didn’t want to do the nude scenes at all. Then she changed this one around to add touching. Now, she took off on her own to add a goddamned blowjob! He looked up at Jim’s position on the camera. “Trash that. We’ll re-shoot the scene next week.” He looked at Valerie. “The way it’s written.”
“No, Jim. Don’t trash that scene.” Roland could feel her gaze burn into him. “Roland, we need to talk. Now.”
Jim looked between them a time or two. “Tell you what. I’ll hang onto the film for now.”
“Thanks.” Her eyes still locked onto his.
Roland fumed. “Oh, we’ll talk all right. Come on. We’ll fucking talk!” They went to the production office. He slammed the door as he closed it.
Valerie took a deep breath. “That’s a good take of a good scene, and you know it.”
“It’s not going in the film.”
She sat down and crossed her legs, but her foot bounced nervously. “I think it should.”
“No.” He swallowed. He didn’t like where this conversation went. He liked it even less than he liked the scene. “And we’re going back to the original script.”
She sighed. “I know you don’t want me to do this. Believe it or not, I’m not crazy about doing it. But, if we’re going to do it, then let’s do it right.”
He needed to either scrap the film or fire her. He couldn’t see any other ways out of this. Roland knew the scene was better. He also knew everyone would think she just gave head on screen.
To someone other than him.
He paced in the small office. “No! That’s all there is to it. I’m the goddamned director, and I say this doesn’t go in the fucking film!”
She took a deep breath. “If it wasn’t me, would you keep the scene?”
He opened his mouth quickly to respond. He closed it even faster. This question had no right answer. If he said yes, she would turn it on him as preferential treatment. If he said no, she would want to know what she did wrong so she could do another take. The last thing he needed to do was even answer the question, but she stared up at him, waiting. Misdirection seemed the order of the day. He placed his hands on the table and leaned across it towards her. “I don’t think you understand how I feel about this.” His voice carried a sharp edge he didn’t want to use with her.
“Fine!” She screamed at him. “Tell me so I have some fucking idea!”
He paused, trying to get his thoughts in order as best he could through the still rising fury in his mind. “Don’t you wonder why I didn’t cut that—” He waved his hands. “Fucking disaster? I couldn’t! I was too busy stopping myself from running up there, yanking you to your feet, and punching Harry’s goddamned lights out!”
“Harry didn’t do anything! If you’re going to be pissed off, at least be pissed off at the right person!”
He screamed at her. He hated that he did, but he couldn’t stop. His anger took total control of him now, and it all whipped from his mind and body at once. “Goddamn it, Valerie! That doesn’t fucking matter! I looked at the other camera, and I saw what you did! I know you faked everything, but from where I sat, it looked like the woman I love—” He stopped dead, his mouth frozen in the middle of his sentence.
She stared at him for several seconds. Valerie’s voice sounded soft, almost weak. “What did you say?”
Ready or not, the chance to turn back already passed. His anger didn’t fade away. It just vanished. “I’ve fallen in love with you.”
She blinked rapidly as she stared at him. “You have?”
He wondered if this would be the last time he would ever see her. She could get her paperwork from Shelia and never even come into his office to pick it up. “Yeah, I have. Maybe that’s wrong, maybe it’s just not a good idea, but it happened, and I’m not sorry about it.” He took a deep breath. He couldn’t see a lot of difference between drowning in six inches or six miles of water. “Valerie, I love you.”
As he watched, her face went through several gyrations. Her face sort of wiggled between frowning, a totally flat expression, and what he thought might be a small smile.
Her heart tried to stop when he said he loved her. It did a little better now, but it went to the other extreme and raced out of control in her chest. Roland leaned across the conference table, his palms resting on the surface and his face close to hers. She could feel his breath on her face as he panted. A few drops of sweat fell from his chin to make wet splashes on the table. Sweat ran down the middle of her back as she watched him. The drops of moisture falling from her head to hit her shoulder where the robe slipped down her arm might be sweat, or just the remains of the stage blood. It didn’t matter.
Valerie managed to keep her breathing in check, but she would have to start panting soon. Her heart beat so fast she would run out of oxygen before too long.
Her brain dissociated from her body, and it split into two parts as it left. Her body just sat there like a lump of flesh. It didn’t seem too inclined to help her right now.
One part of her brain went manic. It ran around and screamed in her head. She couldn’t understand too much of what it said to her. She did make out something about kissing him.
The other part of her brain was the only thing working even close to right. It took a cold, analytical spin. It showed her the pro and con list. Well, it showed her a pro list since the cons went away. The analyst tried to show her more things to put on the list.
She tried to look at her feelings, but the analyst would have none of the emotional nonsense.
She decided to conduct a small poll. The analyst loved the idea of a poll, but offered no opinion. It didn’t have enough facts yet.
The maniac running amok in her head only screamed something about kissing Roland.
Her body didn’t even answer the phone.
She sat watching him as he leaned over the table at her. She must look like an idiot just sitting there, but she couldn’t do anything else. His face looked patient, like he could wait until doomsday for her to speak. It might take that long to get her two brains and body back together into a cohesive unit.
Suddenly, the little pink princess phone in her head rang. Her body called and said only one thing:
‘Think how good it feels when he holds you.’
Her two brains slammed together with a sound like a bank vault closing. They jumped together back into her body and took control again.
She smiled up at him. “I love you, too.”
His face went slack for a split second, and then a smile broke across his lips. He grabbed her around the neck and almost fell face first onto the table. “This isn’t going to work.” He released her and ran around the table to where she stood to meet him. His arms moved around her waist, and he hugged her to his chest. His lips pressed against hers, and it seemed somehow different.
The electric tingles his lips moving on hers created were still there. Maybe they were a little stronger, but that didn’t seem to make up the difference.
The flavor of his lips seemed somehow a little sweeter, but not too much. At least not enough to account for the flood of new feelings ranging through her now.
The scent of his cologne seemed the same. Maybe a few new spices are in the mix, and perhaps a little more sugar, but it didn’t seem too different.
She realized through the tide of emotions that Roland, not his cologne, smelled different.
His touch, his taste, his cologne, and all of the other things seemed about the same, but he smelled different now. Different from even earlier today when they made love before leaving for work. She would be hard pressed to say exactly how he smelled different, though. Maybe, she thought, he smelled stronger. She didn’t know what strong smelled like, so she couldn’t grab onto that. Maybe there’s a new scent of an ambrosial quality, like nutmeg, in the blend. She just didn’t know.
As his tongue moved in her mouth and teased her desires for him, the fact hit her. While she didn’t know how he smelled different, she knew precisely why.
He belonged to her.
The Two Hundred Word Tuesday question for today is:
What are the most important elements of good writing?
Here’s today’s Two Hundred Word Tuesday question:
Are there any teachers you particularly disliked in school?
Today’s Two Hundred Word Tuesday question is:
Do you have a day job as well?