Tag: Rules for Authors

Jan 19

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Seven



Number Twenty-Seven

Have A Clear Understanding Of Success


How do you define your success as a writer?

Is it measured by how many books you release? Maybe by how many books you sell? What about by how many awards you win? Something else, perhaps?

For most authors, but by no means all, success is measured in terms of income. And note that there may not be a connection between income and books sold…if you pocket a dime per book and sell 50,000 copies you may not break-even on expenses. On the other hand, if you get $4.50 per book, you’re pushing a quarter of a million dollars in income.

I want you to take care when comparing your income to that of other authors. Not only can that practice be a road to grief, but it’s damned near impossible to get actual numbers…

Getting sales numbers from publishers is pretty easy (if they are publicly traded), but that covers copies sold and income to the publisher, not what is paid to the authors. Depending on the accounting system used by the publisher, you may see a line-item on the P&L for “Royalty Obligations” (or something similar), but more often the amounts will just be lumped under general liabilities. You also have no way to group pen names together under one real person…in other words, a particular writer may make only $50,000 a year gross per pen name, but he might have two-dozen pen names.

At the same time, writers tend to be secretive about their income. I don’t know of a single full-time, professional author who will give you a straight answer about how much they make. Most writers I know will even lie to researchers about their income just to mess with them. Playing games with amounts made by the author’s various pen names is also common. Frankly, it’s not a damn bit of your (or anyone else’s) business how much I make. (As for me personally, all of my income from writing goes into my privately held corporation. I am not required to release any financial information and I don’t do it at all. There are many things my company does, and my personal financial input is about 2% of the corporation’s total earnings. And I get paid from the corporation by way of both royalties on my writings and salary as the CEO and board chair.)

All of this conspires to make it rough on relatively new writers to figure out where they stand dollar-wise.

But it simply doesn’t matter when it comes to figuring out how you’re doing success-wise.

Here are a couple of questions I’d like you answer…

(1) Are you happy doing what you’re doing? (What you’re doing doesn’t matter…you might be spending 100 hours a week writing, or one hour a month.)

(2) Can you pay your bills doing what you’re doing? (And it also doesn’t matter if your writing income pays 100% of the bills or lets you get a Big Mac meal every quarter when the royalty check comes in.)

If you answered “yes” to both questions, then you are successful. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not…most especially, do not let yourself tell you that!

If, however, you answered “no” to one or both questions, then you need to figure out how to change your answer(s).

How to do that is usually much easier than most people think, despite the fact that most people want to make it complicated. All you need do is avoid falling into the traps set by people who have allowed themselves to fail and want everyone else to fail as well. As Grandma used to say, “Misery loves company.”

And there are LOTS of them out there. Luckily they are easy to spot, and a little common sense applied to their comments and actions make them glow in the dark. Many times, the comments will focus on how wrong one group or another in the industry are doing things, and they will always be nebulous or subjective in nature. Usually both.

Ignore them and move forward so you can answer both questions in the affirmative.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2018/01/19/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-seven-5/

Jan 12

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Six


Number Twenty-Six

There Are No Limits


I’m talking about limits on what you can write.

There is no essential difference between writing a short story, a novella, a novel, a teleplay, a screenplay, or an audio book. (And yes, you can write something aimed at being an audio book only.) The limits here really come from two places…

First, they are marketed differently. If you, as an example, approach a motion picture production company with a screenplay the same way you would approach a publisher with a novel, you’re setting yourself up to fail.

Second, many writers THINK they are different and say something like, “I can’t do that!” to themselves.

To solve these problems, let’s look at each but in reverse order…

There’s not much I can do to convince you that you can write (let’s say) a screenplay. If you really believe you can’t do it, odds are you can’t. Let me just say that I think you CAN do it.

As for the marketing side, there are a couple of ways to do that…you can have multiple agents to shop your work around in different market segments. You can have one agent do it all, but I have never heard of a traditional agent that does this. Or you can get an actual representative to handle the sales.

No matter how you do it, there is a ton of money on the table here. For the last eight years or so, I’ve been writing scripts for “unscripted reality shows”. No, you didn’t read it wrong. In a nutshell, there are about 20-30 episodes per year for a typical show. I get well into five figures per episode. I can write an entire season in a couple of weeks. In other words, I can count on about $1-million a year per series. That junk is a no-brainer and easy money. As the old conman said, “There are pigeons to be plucked.”

And also remember the other less obvious markets like video games, other RPG venues, and similar things. They all need special approaches by the writer, but they are fairly easy to do and represent a pile of money waiting for a taker.

Then there’s the cosplay segment…you get a royalty every time someone puts on the costume, though there may be good reason to take a pass on the royalty and not make a dime on the cosplay deal. It’s called publicity.

I can go on and on about the upside to being diverse, but I’ll bet you’re more interested in the downside, and there is one…


Most authors are control freaks. We see our books as our children and don’t want any changes. We want total creative control. Well, folks, when you branch out into screen and teleplays in particular, you may need to give up that control, at least at first.

As an example, you might spend ten pages in a novel setting the scene, painting the picture for the reader. In a screenplay, you will say something like, “Fred enters Mary’s office.” It is the job of the director and actors to create the setting for the viewer. You, as the writer, are out of the loop in most cases, though I have worked with a fair number of directors who want me sitting next to them as much as possible while shooting…they want to make sure the scene fits my image.

Some writers can’t deal with that, and it’s a shame.

They lose a lot of money and a huge audience.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2018/01/12/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-six-5/

Jan 05

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Five



Number Twenty-Five

Take Care When Revising Your Story…You May Break It


Every writer does it. Professional authors are not an exception either. Just because we’ve been in the business for a few years, that doesn’t mean we aren’t just a little stupid sometimes.

Besides, the temptation is simply too great…you’re working along at your normal writing speed of 5,000 words per hour and write a line. That line makes you think of a passage someplace earlier in the book, so you go back and make some changes there. As you do that, you remember that this change impacts some other place in the book, so you go to fix that. And it turns into a big domino-effect of never-ending changes.

Like I said, we’ve all done this.

And as the vaudevillian physician once said…

Don’t do that!

Rest assured that if you fall into this trap, the odds are very good you will irreparably break your story.

When it comes to the point of view of the author and in the time before the story is in the actual publishing process, there are two phases to writing a story…

First of all, we have what I like to call “Writing The Story.” OK, it ain’t all that great of a name, but it works. This is when you are actually creating the story, characters and all. As the creative juices are flowing, your mind is in just exactly the wrong mode to deal with details. You should just write when in this phase. Don’t worry about details like spelling, punctuation, grammar, and all the rest. In fact, don’t get too hung up on internal consistency, either. Just write. Get the big picture down on paper, and do it without interruption as much as possible. And when it comes to breaks for eating and sleeping, remember that you’ve wanted to lose a few pounds anyway and you can sleep when you’re dead.

Next we enter the phase I call “Revising The Story”. I know…still not a great name, but it tells you what you need to know. This is when you sweat the details, particularly internal consistency and characters. Do settings used in the story always look the same? (That is, was the light switch on the left side of the door EVERY time the character turned on the lights?) How about the characters themselves? Is their hair the same color all the time? Do things make sense within the context of the story? Your brain is in a very different mode now, and you can focus on the details.

If you try to revise when you should be creating, things will get hopelessly tied in knots. The odds are you will end up just deleting the entire work and starting over.

Don’t do that!

Take things in order…write the book, and then revise the book.

And remember what Hemingway said: “Write drunk. Edit sober.”

But, there is something else here I need to say, especially to the budding writers out there…

At some point, you are done writing, revising, and editing. I can’t tell you when that is, but there will come a time when you just need to stop. The story and the mechanics are as good as you can make them, and it’s then time to submit the work to the publishers.

I bring this up because I know dozens of wannabe authors who have been working on the same book for more than a decade. I would bet they will still be working on it ten years from now. Just start shopping the thing around, for crying out loud!

Note that I am not talking about the projects that most authors have that have been pushed so far onto the back burner that it fell down behind the stove. That’s something else we all do, but it’s different. These things are being left to sit and not worked much, if at all, because of other concerns. Like deadlines.

The books that end up in infinite revisions are usually an aspiring author’s first book. They fear the rejection, and I can assure you that a lot of that will be forthcoming. They also fear that the editing process will change their book…actually, they see the book as their baby.

It happens to all of us. Get over it, grow a pair, and move on.

All stories need revision. And I am being absolute here…there has never been a story that didn’t need revision. Ever.

Just be careful that your mind is in the right mode before you start your revisions. Make sure that you don’t break the story because you are making changes as opposed to revisions.

Revisions make things consistent and logical while changes create a new story.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2018/01/05/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-five-5/

Dec 29

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Four



Number Twenty-Four

Beware Of Publishers Bearing Gifts


OK…this is an exceedingly rare problem, but I learned this Rule the hard way.

A few of you reading this may be old enough to remember the payola scandals of the 1950’s. Many more may be familiar with the events through research or just general interest. In short, the term “payola” refers to the practice of paying someone for a favorable placement of some product.

In the 1950’s, a number of radio stations and on-air personalities were accused of—and in some cases prosecuted for—accepting money and other “gifts” for playing certain songs more often than others in order to make the song more popular. You can read more about the payola scandal on Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Payola

At some of the less-than-reputable publishers—particularly in the e-publishing arena—the practice is still alive and well…

There are publishers who will pay for reviews. In some cases, the payment amount is tied to the number of stars (or whatever) that the reviewer gives the book. In most cases, the writer never even knows this is happening…the publisher sends the book out to a number of reviewers, and it all just sort of happens.


A new author with their first few books will always think that their book is the best ever written by anyone. After you have a number of books under your belt, you will know when you write a really good story and when you write crap. Also, you will sometimes see a bunch of reviews with two or three stars, and then out of the blue comes a five-star review. None of the issues addressed in the two-star reviews are mentioned by the five-star reviewer, and it seems they think your story is the best thing since War and Peace. And there will be patterns where all of the reviews done by a particular person or review group will be good, no matter what the story.

All of these are red flags…it’s not hard to see why you should be suspicious of this, but the real question is, “So what?”

In a nutshell, should someone in the Department of Justice (or similar agency in another country) decide to get pushy and look into this, you—the author—could be in deep shit.

Think about this…

Can you PROVE—in a court of law—that you had no idea this was going on and that you did not have a hand in the deal? That whole idea of being innocent until proven guilty is a crock…in most countries there is no such legal protection, and in many that do have it, it is a farce. You must PROVE that you are innocent against government charges.

If convicted, the penalties range wildly from one country to another. In most cases, we’re talking about a fine at the worst. In others, you might do jail time.

The best defense is to stay alert.

Stick with reputable, well known publishers. Odds are that they don’t do this in the first place, and they would never risk their reputation.

Look for the red flags. Don’t get hung up on reviews, but pay attention to the big picture and look for patterns. If you see things, ask the publisher point blank about this, and do it in writing (email is OK) so you have a record of it. Just in case. Also keep in mind that many reviewers of e-books are just readers. They have no standards in place for objectively reviewing books, so it is all 100% personal opinion and nothing more. It is possible that a particular reader will love your book while pretty much everyone else thinks it sucks.

If you have an agent, you can mention your suspicions to them. They won’t do anything, but you can ask.

If you have a real representative, definitely ask them. Odds are they have vetted the publisher and won’t touch the bad ones with a ten-foot pole, but things change. They will look into the matter.

And then we have the other side of the coin…

The number of publishers who do this kind of thing is exceedingly small. Just as a rough estimate, I would say that 0.01% of all publishers is too big a number. The odds of you hooking up with one of this tiny fraction are pretty slim.

And the odds are very much against someone actually deciding to look into the practice and taking legal action over it. Frankly, governments have better things to do than get in the middle of a few reviewers and publishers…like fixing their failing economies.

If you only self-publish, this shouldn’t be an issue at all. Well, unless you actually ARE paying for a good review.

More common in the self-published world is the so-called “review trade”. It often goes by other similar names, but the idea is that two writers review each other’s books. The (usually) unspoken rule is “I’ll give you five stars if you give me five stars”. I would avoid this practice. While not illegal, the ethics are very questionable. Any decent prosecutor will hang your butt out to dry.

Finally, don’t get all wrapped up around the axle on this. There is an old saying where I come from in the Ozarks…

Don’t sweat the petty things…and don’t pet the sweaty things.

Keep Loving!


Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/12/29/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-four-5/

Dec 22

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Three



Number Twenty-Three

Listen To Your Readers, Not The “Experts”


Of all the rules, this could very well be the hardest one to learn and—more to the point—follow.

We all want the approval of someone we consider to be an expert of some sort or another. That expert might be a teacher, a respected or admired peer, a critic, or even a particular publisher. It might even be someone else in an entirely unrelated field, but it will always be someone that we see as important to us.

Most people see successful writers as arrogant. I don’t get that confusion. We ARE arrogant. I really don’t care if I hurt someone’s feelings, though I will never deliberately hurt someone. If the truth hurts their feelings, that is not my concern. The fact is that the truth can hurt. I’m about as politically incorrect as you can get. I think that 99% of the people in the world take life far too seriously and are looking for ways to assert their right to have everything sugar coated for them. As Sergeant Hulka said, “Lighten up, Francis.” In short, the only person I need to impress is me.

And yet even I sometimes catch myself wondering how someone will react to one of my actions.

The simple fact is that we all, as authors, must do what the little voices in our heads tell us to do and shut out those who would force us to compromise our individuality.

This in no way contradicts Rule Number Twenty-Two…I am not talking so much about what we write as opposed to how we write. In a word, voice.

One very common definition is:

“The author’s voice is the style in which a story is presented, including, among other things, the syntax, diction, person, and dialogue.”

Each writer has their own voice. Mine is different from yours. Yours is different from, say, Stephen King’s. Stephen’s is different from Niven’s. You get the idea. No two writers will have the same voice.

Generally speaking, your voice is made up of a staggeringly large number of things…your past, your present, your education, your experiences, your dreams, your nightmares, people you know, people you admire, the time and place in which you live, books you have read, books you have written, and a myriad of other things all go in to the forming of your voice. Looking at this, it’s clear why no two writers will have the same voice…after all, no two people have all of these things in common.

We are all individuals.

And it is your voice that all of the experts—no matter why they are in that category—will want you to change.

And it is this change that you must resist.

In a nutshell, an expert will want you to change so your voice is more like theirs. Think about it…we all believe our voice is the best one out there, and the experts are no exception to this rule. So, since they have the best voice, you would be better off to make your voice more like theirs.


Your voice is the best for you. Your voice is the only thing that sets you apart from all of the other writers out there. It is your voice that the readers like and plop down their hard-earned cash for.

People, ignore the experts…there are but a few of them and they aren’t buying your books anyway.

Listen to your readers…there are literally billions of them and they ARE buying your books.

Read the letters (paper and email) from your readers. Take to heart the things they say, especially if you get more than two letters saying essentially the same thing.

Watch the many mailing lists on the Internet for what your readers are saying there.

Watch blogs where readers post and pay attention to how they react to things, especially about your books.

When you do a signing or other personal appearance, talk to the readers. Besides, taking the extra time to talk to the readers will piss off your agent/representative…you know: Time is Money.

In other words, stay in touch with your readers. Be active…or more correctly, be proactive.

I wish I could give you some concrete examples, but I can’t because the number of variables and variations are far too great. I’ll just say that you will know when the readers like something and when they don’t like something.

Trust me…you’ll know.

And never forget to ignore the experts. Never read reviews…all that will do is piss you off. Never ask another writer how to word something…that will blend your voice with theirs. Never ask an English major how to word something…you’ll end up sounding like a text book. Automatically reject any re-writes by an editor…they have no clue how to write and even less idea of what your voice is.

(Let me clarify that last bit…if a good editor finds a problem, they will never offer a rewrite. They will simply say that the section needs to be rewritten and leave that up to you. If the editor does offer a rewrite, trash it and rewrite the section yourself, in your voice.)

Always remember that it is the readers who are paying you, and listen to your boss.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/12/22/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-three-5/

Dec 15

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-Two



Number Twenty-Two

Write What Will Sell


I know, I know…

Everyone who writes for a living should know this, but it seems everyday there are examples proving that’s not the case.

At this point, we do need to draw a distinction between the types of writers as the industry sees things. Generally speaking, there are two kinds:

(1) First we have the professionals. These are people who are trying to make a living writing, though they may not be able to quit that day job yet. They are published by a real publisher—usually more than one—and they work at the craft to get better and widen their markets. Some are also self-published. In the industry, we call these people “Authors”.

(2) Second are the people who play with writing. The vast majority are not published, though many will self-publish through one outlet or another. They have a “real job” and do not count on their works for income. Most of these people don’t worry too much about the market or improving their skills or their works. In the industry, these are “Writers”.

Personally, I never cared a lot for the industry’s separation of Authors and Writers. But it doesn’t matter what I like. That’s the way it is.

Also, if you actually do write for the fun of it, then none of this applies to you. But don’t try to distract the people who want to write for a living with comments about how everyone should be like you. In other words, not everyone is able or happy making four or five figures a year and having a few hundred fans.

To be blunt, the Writers can stop reading now. The rest of this doesn’t matter to you.

You Authors, keep reading…we’re gonna make some money today.

I can assure you that there is at least one person reading this who has no idea why it is important to write what will sell. For the rest of you, skip the next paragraph…

You can write the best book on the planet, but if no one buys it, you’re going broke. Everyone points at the success of JK Rowling, but imagine for a moment that no one wanted to hear about a bunch of wizard-trainees…Jo would still be broke.

OK, everyone back with me?

Watch the market…what books are selling? What genres are hot? What are other authors writing? What are the publishers buying? What are the bookstores pushing?

These are the areas where you need to work, too. Ride the wave, so to speak, and reap the rewards.

If you were like the Writers, you could say, “I write what I want to write, and the readers can go to hell if they don’t like it.” Just don’t quit that day job, because you’ll starve to death.

But you are an Author, not a Writer. The difference is having a four or five digit income instead of a seven or eight figure income.

And don’t think for a moment that you—or anyone else—has any clue how much other authors make. Authors are privately held corporations and do not report incomes to anyone. A few will give out vague—often fictitious—numbers when asked. The bottom line is that how much I make is none of your damn business.

Anyway, you look at what is selling and put your own unique twist to the story, your voice comes through, and your books will stand out.

In other words, you do not have to write stories that are far outside of the current hot spots in order to get noticed. You just have to make the hot spot fit your way of doing things.

Readers fall into a few very well defined groups…

(1) You have readers who like you and your stories and will buy a dog turd if it has your name on the front and picture on the back. Maybe 0.0001% of all readers are here.

(2) You have readers who hate you and wouldn’t buy your books if God ordered them to. Again, this group might be 0.0001% of all readers.

(3) But most readers have never heard of you or your books. This group is—for most authors—better than 99.9998% of all readers.

Just to make it clear, 99.9998% or more of the readers have no clue who you are and they buy books based on what is hot in the market right now.

So, you write a new book, and it’s something that isn’t on the hot sheet now. The readers in group 1 above will buy it, but that’s about it.

Now, you write a book that is something that is hot at the moment. The group 1 readers will still buy it, but so will at least a few people in group 3.

No, the readers in group 2 will never buy your books. Fuck ’em.

But with the hot topic book, you pick up some sales. Also, some people from group 3 will fall in love with you and move over to group 1.

This is a win-win scenario.

Figuring out the market can be a lot of work, and it always takes a lot of time. This is where having a good partner can be invaluable.

An agent might—maybe—provide you some feedback and advice. Most won’t.

A representative will always tell you what’s happening in the market. As soon as you turn in a manuscript, they will let you know what’s cooking right now and for the next few months so you can adjust your next book accordingly.

Just a note here…a REALLY good personal assistant will be able to do a lot of this, too. But the good ones don’t come cheap. You’re looking at probably $100,000 a year if not more.

The agent will leave you to fend for yourself, but the representative will help you so you can do what you do best…


Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/12/15/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-two-5/

Nov 24

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty-One



Number Twenty-One

Never Back Down From An Editor…Someone Else Will Buy The Book


The best way I can sum this up for you is to say that the author (aka YOU) knows best what makes the story work. No one else—most especially an editor—can do a better job than the author (aka YOU) at making the story and characters strong.

Now, with that said, let’s look at the details…

First of all, I am NOT talking about things like spelling, grammar, and punctuation. If you are using a modern word processor and haven’t done stupid things like adding “special” words to the dictionary or crazy things like adding or editing the grammar rules, your software should catch nearly all of these issues. Maybe…

For example, in the dictionary of nearly all decent word processors, you will find the words “for” and “fro”. How often in a typical book is the word “for” used? At least several hundred times in most cases. On the other hand, the word “fro” is rarely used. Actually, I can’t remember a single time I have ever used it, but I don’t do a lot of historical work. The fact is, however, that the spell checker will not catch the error of typing “fro” when you mean “for”. Even though “for” is a preposition and “fro” is an adverb, most grammar checkers will miss the error, too. There are two ways to fix this…after you write your story, do a search for “fro” and make sure you really meant to use that word. A better solution is to go to the dictionary and remove the word “fro”…now, “fro” will be flagged as a spelling error.

But I digress…

What I am really talking about here is story content…no decent (or better) editor will try to change your story. Sadly, there are an awful lot of bad editors in the business. I can promise you that at some point in your career an editor will come to you and ask you to change your story, usually with some statement like, “…this will work better for the reader…”

In a word, bullshit.

Typically, if you’re fairly new to the business or to the publisher, your refusal to make the suggested changes will be met with a reply like, “…well, I’m not sure we can publish the book the way it is…”

Fine. Just reply, “Good deal. I can sell it for more to someone else, then. Have a wonderful day. Bitch.”

If your book is worth the electrons storing it, the publisher will come back and say, “Sorry…here’s a new editor since you and Jane Doe have some kind of personality conflict. It won’t happen again.” If not, shop it around some more.

If you know something is right, stand your ground. Do not give in just to get the book published. If you have an agent, get them involved right away. The sooner the better because they can often avoid the power struggle that may ensue.

If you have an actual representative, this situation will never come up because the editors know better than to play these kinds of games…this leads to the representative pulling perhaps tens of millions of dollars worth of books and giving them to someone else.

Let me give you one small example from my works…

Anyone who has read my works—or even my blogs—knows that I write “OK” as opposed to “okay”. I once had an editor who hated this, and she insisted that I change all of my “OK” to “okay”. I started off pointing out to her that “OK” or “ok” is preferred over “okay” in more than a dozen dictionaries. She still wanted it changed and started doing a search-and-replace on the manuscript. I simply changed them all back to “OK” and sent it back to her.

At this point, the dingbat actually told me that she couldn’t publish the book with “OK”. I just sent the email to my representative. My rep pulled more than 200 books from the publisher that encompassed nearly 100 authors. The explanation to the publisher was that their editorial staff was a pain in the ass and not worth the effort.

The same day, the publisher came back and told my rep that all was fixed, I had a new editor, the old editor was now flipping burgers someplace, and please come back with your books. My rep then demanded an extra 2% on the royalty for all of the books to cover the angst factor, and the publisher was happy that was all it cost them.

A happy ending for everyone…well, except the idiot editor. I hear that she might make over-night shift manager soon.

When should you take such a hard line? That’s easy…

Whenever the editor wants something “fixed” that changes the story or impacts your voice, this is the time when you should not back down.


It is your story and voice that sell. These things set you apart from the myriad of other authors, and to compromise these matters is to literally sell your soul.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/11/24/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-one-5/

Nov 17

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Twenty



Number Twenty

Just Because It’s In The Dictionary, That Doesn’t Mean It’s Right


Back in the days when I did a little critiquing, I heard this all of the time. “Well, it’s in Webster, so it’s a real word.” And yes, I get the same crap from the kids when we play Scrabble.

For example, a couple of words that are in the dictionary are “F-Bomb” and “App”. These are just fine inside dialog (see Rule Number Nineteen as well), but in narrative, they are just plain wrong.

Why? Let me ‘splain somethin’ to you, Lucy…

A character saying something like, “…when my app went south, I almost dropped an F-bomb in the middle of the elevator…” kind of works. Maybe. Odds are, a real person would say, “…when the fucking phone broke I said, ‘what the fuck is this shit?'” On the other hand, in narrative, you would probably say something like, ‘…when his phone’s GPS failed, Joe blasphemed the gods in charge of high technology…’

Please be careful…there are a number of good reasons to avoid slang and other things that make their way into the dictionary these days and very few for using them.

One of the best reasons to avoid the slang in particular is how a book ages. If the narrative is full of hip slang, odds are in just a few years no one will understand the meanings. By way of example, look at the history of the word “geek”. Used in narrative, are you talking about someone who: (1) Bites the heads off of live animals; (2) Thinks Star Trek is real; (3) Works with computers; or (4) Is into video games and anime?

Like so many other things, the standards for what qualifies as a word have fallen.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/11/17/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-twenty-5/

Nov 10

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Nineteen



Number Nineteen

Between The Quotes, Grammar Doesn’t Count


I’m a Grammar Nazi. I admit that freely and fully. Bad grammar—and other associated issues like slang, syntax errors, and all the rest—drive me absolutely bonkers.

Ask my kids.

But the simple fact of the matter is that between the quotes—that is to say, in dialog—grammar doesn’t count.

If, for example, your hero is a good-old-boy from the swamps of Alabama, I can assure you he will say something like, “…I ain’t got no good learnin’…” now and then. If he doesn’t, he sucks as a character. And it doesn’t matter if he went to Yale at some time.

Your characters should speak just as a real person with the same background, education, and all the rest would speak in a similar situation.

These are things that all decent writers already know. If you haven’t actually learned this someplace, you just plain know it instinctively. Folks, this ain’t rocket science.

Yeah, I can say that…I grew up in the hillbilly Ozarks and have a degrees in physics and mechanical engineering. I know what rocket science actually is.


The bad news is there are more than a few editors out there who clearly don’t know this. They will red-pen you for using “ain’t” in dialog. They will nail you for dangling participles and other grammatically esoteric rules. And some will still try to enforce the dreaded split infinitive.

So, how do you handle such editors? There are two basic ways…

Method One: Change your story to fit their whims. This is a VERY bad practice. Your character speaks in a certain way for a particular reason. I can assure you that if you make these changes, you will cripple—if not kill—your story and its believability. I strongly encourage you to forgo this solution in favor of Method Two.

Method Two: Correct the editor. There are three phases here…first, point out to the editor that the problem lines (for them) are within dialog and are central to the character’s development. If that fails, tell the editor that this is the way it will be and the discussion is now closed. If this fails, fire the editor or tell the publisher you want an editor who actually understands how this whole process works.

See also Rule Number Eight.

Never—EVER—forget that YOU are the writer. The creative process is totally YOURS. YOU develop the characters and how the reader sees them. Absolutely NONE of the creative process is in the field of the editor.

As Rule Eight states, do not fear the editor. The absolute worst thing that can happen is that you will need to sell your story to another publisher, probably for more money.

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/11/10/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-nineteen-5/

Nov 03

Melodee’s Rules for Authors — Number Eighteen



Number Eighteen

Never Listen To English Majors…Most Aren’t Published


The short version of this is that an English major knows a lot about the English language, like how to build a proper sentence, but by and large, they don’t know jack-shit about how to write a book people want to pay for and read.

Now, on to the long version…

Oh, and before you English majors come after me with torches and pitchforks, remember that these are all general statements. Like anything, there are always exceptions. Not many, but a few.

And I have a MA in English. It didn’t take very well and I got over it.


There is a ton of research out there about average reading levels, and the numbers vary all over the place depending on your focused target market. Want to know the average reading level for general entertainment adult reading in the US?


Yes, that’s right. The average person reading your books is reading at a fifth grade level. For some genres (romance, horror, terror, etc.) the number is a little lower. For others (SF, spy, docudrama, etc.) it’s a tad higher.

In other words, aim your story at about what a fifth grader should be able to read, and your readers won’t get lost. Oh, by the way…the average US fifth grader reads at a 4.1 level. Go figure.

And just a fast caveat here…on all word processing systems I have ever seen, the grade scores end up being WAY low. The algorithms used to do the calculations include dialog. By its nature, dialog has very low grade scores because the paragraphs and sentences tend to be very short compared to narrative.

All of this boils down to the simple fact that to sell books you need to write clearly, concisely, and with passion. All of the fancy things that English majors know how to do will accomplish exactly two things:

(1) Confuse the living hell out of your average reader, and

(2) Make your books sit on the store shelf until the end of time.

There is one school of thought among writers that if you write over the head of the “average” reader, you will sell books to the “above average” readers. These readers will tend to be better educated and have more disposable income to spend on books, so you’ll make more money. The problem is that these latter-day-yuppies don’t buy books. They buy sports cars, dirt bikes, RVs, SUVs, boats, a new smart phone every six weeks, houses that they are seriously upside-down on before they sign the mortgage, and no small amount of various recreational drugs, both prescription and—shall we say—over the counter. In short, they have no disposable income and no time to read.

And remember that the typical millennial is still living at home with their parents and has no free cash at all. And I won’t go into the simple fact that a goldfish has a longer attention span (8-9 seconds) than the average millennial (3-4 seconds).

On the other hand, the average readers out there manage their money, keep things real, and spend money judiciously on entertainment products, books especially.

The real writers figure this out pretty fast and abandon the screwball idea in a hurry. I do, however, know one author who is still sticking to this pattern. He is an amazing writer with all the skills needed to make it to the big time. He’s 32 now, has a law degree (he’s failed the bar in six different states now), has about nine books published (all self-pubbed), works about 20 hours a week at Wendy’s, lives in his parent’s garage, and makes about $1,000 a year writing. Since he has no expenses (he doesn’t have a car and pays no rent or board), his fast food and writing gigs keep him in beer and weed. Now that’s the life!

Besides, the purpose of language is to communicate. If you can get your point across in an efficient and concise manner, then who really cares if you violate a few rules along the way? And then there is the issue of the rules of language…

See also Rule Number Six. In that Rule, I detail how the style manuals are usually wrong. More importantly, I point out that the style manuals are based on what we authors are doing. In other words, we authors set the rules for language, not the English majors.

Go ahead…pick up any style manual or dictionary. On every page you will find a reference to what some author did in the past used to defend what the manual or dictionary is saying is the right thing to do. In most cases, you will find several such examples on every page.

You won’t find a single entry that points to the opinion of Jane Doe, PhD as defense for a rule.

Let’s make sure we all understand the food chain here…

English majors edit books and help authors stay on track and not make stupid mistakes in grammar and punctuation that alter the meaning of a sentence. (Like “Let’s eat grandma” versus “Let’s eat, grandma.”) Authors can, do, and should tell the English major to get stuffed and this is the way we are going to do this book. That is to say, the author is the final authority.

The people who write style manuals and dictionaries take their input from authors. In all cases of disagreement, the author is always right.


In other words, the style manual and dictionary govern the English major, the author governs the style manual and dictionary, and so the author also governs the English major.

To paraphrase Mel Brooks, “It’s good to be the queen!”

Keep Loving!



Permanent link to this article: http://melodeeaaron.com/blog/2017/11/03/melodees-rules-for-authors-number-eighteen-5/