Wow…yeah, that’s about all I have to say. The old adage about time flying when you’re having fun really is true.
Today (April 26, 2013), my little boy turns five. It seems like just yesterday when he was born.
I never, even in my wildest dreams, thought I would be a mother, and yet here I am with two adopted daughters (Amanda who will officially be a teenager in June and Debbie who turns eleven in August) and our birthday boy JJ. Now I can’t even imagine life without them.
In some ways, JJ was a bit of a surprise. Jack had a vasectomy done about six years before we were married, and it was a good one…his ex-wife hadn’t gotten pregnant again. When he and I got together, we discussed it and decided that we wanted to have a child, so we looked into a reversal of his sterilization. The doctors were not very optimistic, but we found one of the best surgeons in the US and went ahead with the procedure.
After the surgery, Jack’s sperm counts were low, but the doctor just shrugged. He said that the true test would be if I got pregnant or not. Yeah, the real world outcomes beat the lab test every time.
And sure enough, after some “practice”, I was pregnant. And no, neither one of us complained about the number of times we had to try.
Thankfully, the pregnancy was uneventful. Well, unless you count my mood swings and the time I bounced an ashtray off Jack’s forehead. No big deal…only four stitches.
But there was one thing that really worried me…
I have been deaf since birth, and no actual cause has ever been identified. Odds are, it is due to something genetic, but something odd in my fetal development time comes in a close second. The fact is that I was scared to death that our baby would be born deaf.
I tried to hide my fears, but Jack picked up on them. He’s always been able to do that, and I really don’t mind him reading my thoughts. He did and said all of the right things, too…told me that everything was just fine, pointed out that even if the baby was deaf, I turned out all right. More or less. He suggested that we talk with the doctors.
And so we did. We explained our concerns to the medical team, and the doctor sat for a long time just staring at us. He then asked a very simple question…”What will you do if we learn that the baby is indeed going to be born deaf?” What indeed. The doctor then said that we would have two choices: Abort the pregnancy or do nothing.
There was no way I would abort that little person growing inside of me. Ever. None of the details mattered other than we were talking about our baby. So the only option was to do nothing.
The doctor smiled and advised us to not worry about things. So we did.
Looking back, the entire nine months was actually pretty routine. Well, other than that scar Jack still carries. Even the delivery went smooth. Oh, and Jack ignored me when I screamed that he was never going to have sex again.
Before I knew it, the doctor put this little baby boy in my arms, and despite all the red, wrinkled skin and the few little wisps of wet, thin hair, he was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. When the nurse came to get JJ to get him cleaned up and do all of the things they needed to do, I thought that even though I was tired and sore I could take her ass out. Jack convinced me to let her take care of the baby for a few minutes.
When the nurse brought JJ back, that was when I saw something else that made me go all gooey on the inside…she handed the baby to Jack.
You have to see Jack to appreciate him. He’s 6′ 11″ and weighs about 235 pounds. Buying his suits off-the-rack just doesn’t happen and it’s a good thing that he was in the Navy because his shoes look like small boats. He prides himself on not showing emotion, at least not very often. No matter the situation, Jack is always calm, cool, and collected.
He sat beside me holding our son, and he looked up at me. Jack smiled from ear to ear, and there were tears flowing down his cheeks. He leaned over and kissed me and said, “Thank you, baby.”
Damn it…now I’ve got myself crying again!
One of the first things the doctors checked was JJ’s hearing. He can hear normally, and for that I’m also thankful, though I would love him just the same no matter what.
The last five years have been fun as JJ has grown, and I suspect the next ten or fifteen years will be even better. For all I can tell, JJ is just a smaller (slightly…he’s a big boy!) version of his father. Even now, the testosterone levels get pretty high.
Sometimes, Jack will ask JJ to do something, and a standoff begins. Yeah, JJ will defy his dad. Interestingly enough, if one of his sisters or me asks him to do the same thing, JJ will fall all over himself to make it happen. Go figure.
But, as I said, JJ is just like his father. Jack isn’t afraid to stand up to any man. Hell, I’ve seen him come close to fighting a waiter over a glass of water. But for me and the girls, he’s a pushover. Trust me…Amanda is every bit as good as I am when it comes to getting Jack to do something.
I can see JJ growing up to be just like his dad, and that’s a good thing. A very good thing. Some day, he’s going to make some girl very happy and very lucky…just like I am with his father.
But for today, we’re going to have the traditional party and games and presents.
If I have learned nothing else in the five years since JJ was born it is that I need to cherish and enjoy this time. Before I know it, he’ll be all grown up and starting a new life with his own family. Another woman will be holding him when he falls and skins his knee.
But he will always be my little boy.
I love you, JJ.